How many balls are you currently juggling? As a parent it’s likely you are managing multiple responsibilities, and probably don’t even have time to count how many there are. I get it. We have so much to deal with every day, we don’t have a chance to stop and reflect. Mostly we’re just getting on with what needs to be done and reacting to situations as they arise. And as long as life is going smoothly this can be an effective strategy to stay on top of things. Unfortunately, when challenges arise, reacting in an automatic way can lead to further difficulties. If our reaction helps we can carry on as before, but if what we do rubs our family members up the wrong way it can make things worse without us knowing how!
At times like these, it can be very difficult to think through all the different aspects of our situation and work out a way through and beyond the problems faced. We can get tangled up in our own thoughts and emotions, and become confused about the most effective way to handle difficulties. Overwhelm and helplessness follow, with that frustrating suspicion there is a solution somewhere but somehow it’s not available to us.
For many of us, the simple act of talking can be a real tonic in these situations. Finding someone who will listen to us as we let our thoughts and fears tumble out of our mouths allows us to hear what we are saying out loud and to recognise ‘Yes, that’s what I really think!” Of course we need to be able to trust that person, and to know they won’t judge us, but will believe in our ability to work out what is best for us and our family. Some of us have people like this in our lives and are all the better off for it! Others of us don’t have people we can trust to be calm and supportive when we become vulnerable. In either situation though, speaking with someone outside of your circle can help you share more and so have more of an opportunity to make sense of more information.
Here is where I am going to share the benefits of counselling. A counsellor offers you a sort of warm and encouraging mirror, where the things you say are reflected back to you in ways that are probably kinder than you would allow for within yourself. A good therapist will ask the right questions to draw out how your choices, thoughts and feelings are understandable and make sense within the context of being you. Hearing this back can be hugely reassuring and supportive and allow you to take a more careful look at the few things you don’t feel so good about. Being given both time and encouragement gives you a better opportunity to consider what you need, what your family needs and what solutions would make the most sense in your situation.
If you want to have some space to explore what’s going on for you and your family, we offer six funded counselling sessions to parents during term time. The majority of sessions are online so you can access them at your convenience and we have a limited number of in-person sessions at Ledbury Children’s Centre. For more information click here.